Halloween Special: May the European Union be Ever in Your Favour

@LoveEurope Twitter Post, 7^th September 2015:

“We Europeans should remember well that Europe is a continent where nearly everyone has at one time been a refugee. Our common history is marked by millions of Europeans fleeing from religious or political persecution, from war, dictatorship, or oppression. Huguenots fleeing from France in the 17th century; Jews, Sinti, Roma and many others fleeing from Germany during the Nazi horror of the 1930s and 1940s; Spanish republicans fleeing to refugee camps in southern France at the end of the 1930s after their defeat in the Civil War; Hungarian revolutionaries fleeing to Austria after their uprising against communist rule was oppressed by Soviet tanks in 1956; Czech and Slovak citizens seeking exile in other European countries after the oppression of the Prague Spring in 1968’’ (Jean Claude Juncker, September 2015) YES! RESEARCH YOUR HISTORY BEFORE YOU JUDGE! #europeforrefugees

@HopefulEurope Twitter Post, 5^th December 2015:

This year over one million refugees have been taken in by the European Union. Far right parties all over Europe demand borders to be closed. I can’t hear any more arguments like: They will destroy our culture, take our jobs, force our women to wear headscarves, organised terrorism will vanquish Europe, we must close our borders now. I SAY NO TO ALL OF THIS SHIT! Merkel and other politicians follow through with their open-door policy. The wealthiest countries of the EU and the European Union as a whole will be able to host and take care of the refugees. #hopeful #wecandothis!

@LoveWhiteGermany Twitter Post, 22^nd September 2016

German Chancellor Angela Merkel wishes she could turn back the clock on her refugee policy, she said. Merkel took responsibility for her conservative party’s second electoral defeat in Berlin on Sunday, as voters rejected her open-door policy just a year before a federal election. „For some time, we didn’t have enough control,“ the chancellor said in her speech on Monday. „No one wants a repeat of last year’s situation, including me.“ – glad to hear it! THANK FUCK they are changing the course! #keepthemout #notourproblem

@LoveWhiteGermany Twitter Post, 15^th June 2017

Recent elections in Europe and throughout the world have shown that right and far right governments and their anti- refugee and anti- immigrant laws gain popularity. YES! We are doing this! Terrorist attacks in recent years show that terrorists are able to enter the country together with refugees. They could be anyone! Europe stay alert! #takebackourhomeland #fuckterrorists #lederhosenforever

@GreenPlanet Twitter Post, 28^th November 2018

Greta you are my HERO! The young girl who started protesting in Sweden, her motto, School Strike for Climate! She is being heard as thousands of pupils throughout Europe join her in her protest. Scientists have confirmed that if the West does not reduce its CO2 emissions, global warming will have deep effect on the entire world. Experts suggest that the number of climate refugees will blow up the numbers of refugees as we know it. We can’t let this happen guys! We have too many refugees as it is! #stopclimatechange #love #safetheworld

@FlatWorldRealness Twitter Post, 2nd December 2018

Global Warming is fake news. Children should go back to school. #fakenews #loveaflatworld

@HopefulEurope Twitter Post, 6^th August 2019

More and more European countries refuse to take in any more refugees or immigrants. The European Union appears to lose control over the refugee crisis. EUROPE WHAT IS HAPPENING??? #sadtimes #wecanstilldothis

@MartinHistorynerd1999 Twitter Post 28^th November 2019

Sick and tired of people saying this is not our problem/ keep them out! Well it is our problem because we, Europe, the West and the US are responsible for all the wars that happened in the middle east and the poverty in third world countries! We live in luxury and wealth because all the others do not! #wehavespace #ourproblem #oursolution

@IloveBoris Twitter Post, 31^st January 2020

The United Gingdom leaves the Europen Unin and take back controll! We did id guys! No more refuges, no more imigrants, no more laws imposed by Neonazis! #Ilovebritain #iloveboris #ilovebrexit

@LoveWhiteGermany Twitter Post, 16^th March 2020

Due to a globalised world the Coronavirus was able to spread rapidly throughout the world. Immigrants, fucking Asian Chinese tourists and refugees should be held accountable for the Virus’s spread! European countries are closing down their borders! Rightfully so! #wtf #ihaterefugees #stopcovid

@Germanyforrefugees Twitter Post, 9^th September 2020

The refugee camp Moria has burned down. Thousands of people, among them children and women are once again homeless and most vulnerable to the threat of the ongoing Pandemic. Leaders of the EU blame the refugees for burning down their own camp. EUROPE WTF #wehavespace #love

@Austriaforrefugees Twitter Post, 16th September 2020

It is the EU’s duty to help people in need! It is one of the fundamental values that define Europe! Mr Kurz you are a disgrace to our country! Austria is the fourth wealthiest country of the EU! We have the space!  Take them in! #whatthefuckeurope #wehavespace #noschleppercrisis

@Julia1984 Twitter Post, 31st October 2020

WTF? Lockdown all over Europe? AGAIN?! We can’t afford this! The economy is done! I am speechless! There are so many more problems in this world than covid! Global warming, refugees in need, world hunger, what is happening to the world!? #icantbelievethis #nolockdown

@AmericaFirst Twitter Post, 4th November 2020

WE DID IT AGAIN!!! Trump has won!  Trump will make the US great again and again! Can’t wait for the next four years! We finally get the wall! #lovetrump #buildthatwall

@NYgirl200 Twitter Post, 5^th November 2020

BLM Movement will be back, in fact, never stop fighting! Join my brothers and sisters all over the US and Europe TOMORROW for the biggest demonstration against structural racism! THE FIGHT MUST CONTINUE! #blm #notmypresident

@VivelaFrance27 Twitter Post, 10^th November 2020

Yes Macron! Kick them all out! After all the terrorist attacks it’s time to force the Islamic scum ALL out! We need OUR France back! Enough is ENOUGH! #vivelafrance #takebackfrance

@EuropeGirl2002 Twitter Post, 13^th March 2021

I can’t believe it, my heart is broken! A gay black couple has been shot dead in Paris by the police! Not asking how and why this is still happening, cause we all know, but I am asking WHERE IS THE JUSTICE??!! #blm #stopviolence #love

@LibertéEaglitéBeyoncéx4, Twitter Post 28^th April 2021

My heart is broken! I cannot believe what’s happening in France! Yes the terrorist attacks were awful but it’s not the solution to deport all Muslims and show violence against people of colour! France this is not you! #heartbroken

@Austriaforrefugees Twitter Post, 15th November 2021

I understand that the consequences of Covid have weakened our economy beyond repair for years to come. But closing down borders AGAIN is not the solution! People and refugees from all over the world want to come to Europe after the covid crisis because we are still the EU and we have the economic strength to help and support! We must take in people in need! #wehavespace #wecandothis

@AmericaFirst Twitter Post, 19th July 2022

I can’t believe it! This is the day! We have built that wall! No more refugees coming into the USA! #americafirst #trumplove

@MaryinLondon Twitter Post, 25^th January 2023

Priti Patel you cunt! How dare you legalise to hunt and kill refugees who are trying to cross the English Channel??!! Is this our parliament? Are they animals now? This is disgusting! What happened to human rights? Where is this country heading? #fuckbritain #safetherefugees

@HopefulEurope Twitter Post, 25th October 2023

Guys we must listen to the climate change activists around the globe! Time is running up! #safetheplanet #stopglobalwarming

@TheDukeandDuchessofCambridge Twitter Post, 29th November 2024

With great sadness and broken hearts, we announce the end of the United Kingdom as we know it. Mega- Hurricane Mary has completely flooded the islands we know and love as Ireland and the UK. Among the casualties are millions of UK citizens and our Queen, Elizabeth the Second, Prince Charles and our Prime Minister Priti Patel. The UK has been lost to the sea. Survivors try to reach the safer shores of Europe. We pray for their survival. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and their children are safe in Canada. #longlivethequeen #climatechangeisnotafake

@LoveWhiteGermany Twitter Post, 15th July 2025

Relieved to hear that the EU has decided to close down ALL their borders to stop the tidal wave of climate refugees coming from the remains of the UK, the Middle- east and Africa! We have to do what’s necessary! #stoptheflood #nomorespace #europefirst

@Julia1984 Twitter Post, 15th May 2026

WTF??!! Stop this violence in Europe! Alone this year 28 people of colour (with refugee and immigrant background) have been killed in Germany. 297 in TOTAL in the EU! Why is no one doing anything???!!! #stopviolence #spreadlove

@Austriaforrefugees Twitter Post, 15^th September 2026

What are all these new laws and guidelines imposed by this bullshit reformed European Union??!! Actively deporting refugees by the thousands even though they have EU citizenship??!! This is not who we are! This is not Europe! Times are crazy but this is ENOUGH! #stopthis #stoptheviolence

@HopefulEurope Twitter Post, 9th December 2026

I cannot believe the results of all these elections in the last years! Far right France, far right Belgium, far right Italy, far right Spain, far right Germany, far right Austria, WTF is HAPPENING????? #safeeurope #love

@TwitterOfficial Alert for @HopefulEurope: Your Twitter post from the 9th of December 2026 has been removed as it is going against the guidelines of Twitter.

@Austriaforrefugees Twitter Post, 17th September 2027

I can’t believe this SHITSHOW! Yes there is less food because of the climate crisis, yes the economy is down because of the consequences of covid. But we STILL ARE the world’s wealthiest countries! What the fuck! We have to share our wealth with this dying world! #fuckyoueurope #lovewillwin

@TwitterOffical Alert for @Austriaforrefugees: Your Twitter post from the 17th September 2027 has been removed as it is going against the guidelines of Twitter and the reformed EU. Furthermore, your Twitter Address and Information have been reported to the Security Headquarters of the reformed European Union and you have been branded as Dangerous Citizen. Remain at home. You will receive further information from your government.

@LoveWhiteGermany Twitter Post, 18th December 2028

So glad to hear that the EU and the European governments are finally taking action! Dangerous Citizens will be removed from the EU by 2029, can’t wait! Looking forward to THE WALL ALL AROUND EUROPE! We will keep these fuckers out! #buildawallforeurope #europefirst

@FirstClassCitizenxo1 Twitter Post, 29th May 2029

OMG you guys! I can’t believe it! Today I got my new passport, so I am now officially a FIRST CLASS CITIZEN of the European Union! This decade has been rough but it’s all better now! Our people are being taken care of! And of course, it’s so nice that we will finally be able to regulate refugees coming into Europe! #wedidit #loveeurope #firstclasscitizen

@LoveWhiteGermany Twitter Post, 25th August 2029

So happy to hear that ALL PEOPLE OF COLOUR, the fucking Muslims those terrorists and with refugee background will be REMOVED from the EU! It was about time to kick them fuckers out! The economy is finally booming again, new jobs, new opportunities for a white Europe #lovewhite #loveeurope

@Donald J. Trump Twitter Post, 23rd March 2030

So sad, so sad to hear that the entirety of the US and parts of Canada have been consumed by mega fire storm Lucy. It was a Chinese Fire storm. A terrible fire storm, but what can you do. If I would still be US president this would not have happened. It’s pretty hot in the US now but don’t worry guys. Your favourite former US president is safe in Brazil with his best buddy Bolsonaro. Have heard some US citizens tried to climb the wall to escape the fire storm but the wall melted, and they died. So sad! They were incredible US citizens. First Class US citizens. I will pray for them. Let’s all find a new place to live, maybe in Canada, maybe in Brazil. You survivors are first class citzens, America still comes first. Never forget that! Xxx your Donald

@BuildingEuropex2000 Twitter Post, 22nd September 2030

Just been to the eastern border of the EU and it is looking good! We are working together with the construction builders who built the wall back when the US was still there! Our European wall will be fireproof so now Mega Fire- Storm will be able to destroy our country! Can’t believe that the EU and its countries are the last ones who have not been destroyed by global warming! I bet it’s a sign! May the European Union be ever in your favour! #loveeurope #lovethewall

@FirstCitizenLove Twitter Post, 15th of February 2031

Can’t believe the western and southern wall of Europe is already finished! It looks SO BEAUTIFUL! Thank you SO MUCH EU! This is what we believe in! The safety and wellbeing of the first-class citizens of Europe! Love it! #loveeurope #buildthewall

@FirstClassCitizenxo1 Twitter Post, 7th April 2031

This will be SOOO much fun! I am so excited to share the news with all of you! I have been selected to share this with you as I am THE model first class citizen! The new reality TV show which will be mandatory to watch throughout our beloved European Union and the refugee camps supported by the EU will be something SO SPECIAL and mean so much and uplift the values and believes of the EU! 30 refugees will be selected from the refugee camps beyond the wall to fight each other to the death until one is left standing! This one refugee will then become a first-class citizen, after proofing to us that it is upholding the believes of the Europe we believe in, by killing bad refugees and proofing that it is superior to other refugees. It will be the greatest show of our lives! This means that once every year, one refugee will be allowed to obtain a first-class citizenship of the EU (I know it’s a lot but it’s fair). You guys, this will be brilliant! Can’t wait for the first show next year! May the European Union be ever in your favour! #firstclasscitizenlove #loveeurope

@FirstCitizenLove Twitter Post, 24th of April 2031

It is done! The wall is complete! Our borders are now completely safe! Cannot wait for the celebrations which will also be the date of the beginning of the Europe Games where refugees will battle each other to the death! It will be SOOOOOO COOL! #lovethewall #loveeurope #killtherefugees

@FirstClassCitizenxo1 Twitter Post, 28th of April 2031

You guys, I have amazing news! The first Europe Games will be hosted in a newly built arena close by Vienna! The celebration of the wall will be on the 4th of May and the opening of the Europe Games will be on the 5th of May! I hope you are ready to watch! CAUSE I AM! #lovethewall #celebratethewall #killtherefugees

@FirstClassCitizenxo1 Twitter Post, 5th of May 2031

First class citizens, are you READY TO WATCH? Just want to say everyone I saw yesterday at the celebration of the wall, it was so amazing! It felt so wonderful to celebrate with simply just white people. I felt so safe and secure, so thank you again to our transformed European Union for ALL OF IT. The world is finally a better and safer place. Now let’s watch the savages do what they love to do! Kill each other while we, first class citzens can lean back safely and watch the BEST SHOW OF ALL TIMES! HAPPY EUROPE GAMES! #killtherefugees #happyeuropegames #firstclasscitizenlove

28 Years Later

‘Ladies and Gentlemen!’ Helga Dom screamed with excitement into the pink microphone she held with both hands. ‘We are halfway through the 29^th Europe Games! Can you believe it? How much we have laughed! How much we have cried when our favourite refugee was beheaded right in front our eyes! But oh boy, never mind, the show MUST GO ON!’

The audience screamed! Twenty thousand people were watching this night’s broadcast of the Europe Games live together. It was a public viewing next level. The host, Helga Dom, who has hosted the Europe Games in the last 15 years was a familiar face. She was a celebrity First Class Citizen. She was the face of death and slaughter. Every time, a refugee was killed, her designers would dress her in a costume that would remind the viewer of how the refugee died. The dress, Helga’s makeup and hairstyle would serve as a reflection on the symbolic death of yet another insignificant refugee. The obvious colour choice was of course red but the amounts of shades of red to express death had become very creative over the years. Sometimes her outfits would also be bright yellow, when a refugee had burned to death, or black or brown, when a refugee had shit itself while dying.

Dying is after all a messy business. But the way Helga’s Houte- Couture designs looked like, death and murder had become a runway show. At times, it was difficult to find a design for certain deaths, for instance, when a refugee was simply killed by breaking its neck. There was usually no blood. So, Helga’s designers had to be inventive. Usually, they would then dress Helga in brown, as this was the average skin colour of the refugees. It would create a distinctive contrast to Helga’s skin and the crowd’s skin colour, as first-class citizens were of course white and refugees were not. And Helga’s skin was white as snow, her blond hair and blue eyes made her look terrifyingly angelic. As the president, Benjamin Lang, always referred to her, Our Diamond Girl of Europe.

Today, she wore a green reptilian- like ballgown with wine red patches of blood covering the dress, as if she had just killed someone before coming on stage. But of course, this was a nightmarish thought. A first-class citizen would and could never kill another human being. Only refugees could kill a first-class citizen or each other, as all first class-citizens witnessed every year at the Europe Games. And this night’s dress also reflected last night’s blood bath in the arena.

‘Now, wasn’t last night quite something!’ She beamed. ‘Before we watch our beloved refugees live again, let’s have a quick recap of last night’s events!’

Excited, Helga hopped up and down and stared at the massive screen behind her. For a moment, the screen was blue with twelve yellow stars in a circle, the well-known European Union flag. Then the stars began to bleed and turned blood red. They started dripping down like droplets and video footage of last night’s carnage was shown:

A giant green snake, genetically modified, had been let loose in the arena. After 20 refugees had remained alive for three days in a row, the entertainment team had thought to mix things up and with success. The giant snake had devoured two refugees within two minutes and had killed two more with a stroke of its tail. Then one refugee had pushed another refugee right into the jaws of the monster. Here the crowd screamed with excitement and laughed because it simply looked so funny how the refugee’s neck and upper body had been pierced by the sword-like teeth of the snake. And for a moment the dying body just hang there, twitching like a puppet until the snake bit the body in two and then devoured the refugee. However, the pusher did not make it far as the refugee stumbled and the snake, not seeing it, rolled over it and crushed it underneath its belly. The audience made UH and AH noises as the snake nearly killed another refugee but managed to escape. Another was able to hide successfully on a tree. But the snake continued its way through the arena until four refugees teamed up to battle the snake and finally killed it, after another two refugees had died in the epic battle. Now, only twelve more refugees remained and in a couple of days the final night would be on!

‘I always find these days, right before the final three refugees always THE MOST EXCITING!’ Helga said nostalgically to the crowd. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I LIVE for the final! I always do, but just seeing the hope of the refugees making it into that final round always makes my heart stop!’ She said with passion. ‘And just the dresses I then get to wear!’ She screamed excited. ‘I could just kill to wear all these dresses!’

The crowd burst out laughing and Helga laughed with them.

‘Now, we have a little surprise for you! The president of the European Union is sending a little message our way tonight!’ Helga screamed excited and jumped up and down.

Then she made an elaborate gesture with her hands towards the screen, a middle-aged man with brown sleek hair appeared on the massive screen. The audience roared with excitement. He had a big face, like a baby, it looked a bit out of proportion in comparison to his body. Besides, his ears were particularly small. He beamed at the audience with his watery blue eyes, as he was broadcasted live. He began speaking with a heavy German accent:

‘My dearest female and male first-class citizens. I hope you are all excited for a night of spectacle. Surely, I am. I will be watching tonight’s Europe Games with my beloved wife and my three children. We cannot wait for the events to unfold! And on that occasion, my dear female and male first-class citizens, I would just like to say how proud I am of all of you. You take your duty as first-class citizens so serious. You know that your government protects the wall and keeps out all the refugees, except for one, whom we grant entry once every year after it has proven worthy. The refugee deserves to join us for a life of wealth and riches. Never forget what a wonderful life you all are living, thanks to your government and the wall. And to return the favour we want you to live a wonderful life. In fact, it is your duty. You do not need to know what happens beyond the wall. We all remember from the old days. Out there, wars, foreign religions, viruses, the effects of climate change and strange cultures tried to destroy our sacred white European way of life. But now thankfully, all that lies in the past. Now the only duty you have is to lean back and watch the world’s greatest show! May…’ And here the president paused his speech and waited for all citizens to stand up, their right hand placed next to their mouths: ‘May the European Union be ever in your favour!’ He said solemnly and the twenty thousand first class-citizens and Helga said in unison: ‘May the European Union be ever in your favour!’

The crowd roared and cheered as the screen turned blue again, some people even began to cry as they were so moved to see the president and they all sat down again.

‘Wasn’t that wonderful?’ Helga said and wiped a tear off her cheek. ‘And never forget. The government, the president, feeds you and is always, always in your favour. Everything we need is right here. And that’s why, since the beginning of time, all these bad refugees wanted to come here! But how lucky we are that now we have our beloved wall and our Europe Games!’

When Helga said Europe Games she screamed into her microphone and her voice echoed throughout the arena and beyond.

‘And without further ado, Europe, let’s watch Europe Games!’ Helga hopped one last time up and down excitedly. Then she left the stage and the screen turned from blue into black until one could only make out the arena with the remaining refugees who would continue their fight to the death. Until all but one refugee was left alive to join the fortress, the fruitful grounds of humanity, this temple of humankind, that is, the European Union.

Note by the Author: This short story was inspired by the Hunger Games Series.